2009: +$138 142 (+£85 442) Well all in all just not good enough at all
I had high high targets and let myself down massively, i took 3 individual whole months off, some months i played i played about 50-70 hrs work.
You could call it lazy but its not that, its a mental thing, if youre not in the right mental state you cant play, well you shouldnt play and i know when im not in the right mental state which unfortunately was too often this year, although there were glimmers of good times
I can work extremely hard and grind extremely hard when im focused so i should have made sure i was focused often enough
2009 has been a year when i have got to know a lot of my faults a lot more
I started 2009 with a lot of enthusiasm on a good run having made a few mistakes the previous two years, a few blips of gambling, bad mental states and over spending, but on the whole 2008 and 2007 i did what i had to do and i was where i wanted to be.
The problem was i was just not as mature as i thought i was or that i needed to be, to be young and to be making this sort of money does distort things but the fact is i was just immature in so many ways in 2009
Every year older i get every year i look back and think god i was young and stupid then, im thinking when will that stop! Experience is so vital in so many aspects of life.
I hope im mature enough right now to take myself to the next level, it took a sick amount of hard work driven by ambition to get from £1k to £10k, then to get from £10k to £50k took another year of hard work with the same ambition (with mistakes still leaking) 2009 i wanted to go even further but wow how i messed that up
£85 000 i made, down from the previous year despite the fact im twice maybe three probably ten times a better player
I put in probably 75% less hours though and was in a bad mental state 75% more of the time
I lost a whole lot of money gambling on blackjack too which ill always regret and curse for probably the rest of my life, such a stupid thing to do and its given me massive setbacks mentally and money wise
I have a lot of money saved but i could have had so so so much more if i had just been level headed, not gambled
Although i was a gambler when i got into poker, thats why i got into it, ive always been a gambler
I think of myself (being modest) as a really clever person, i suppose most people think that about themselves and it shocks me that i could do something so ridiculous as to lose chunks of money on blackjack.
I honestly think im over that, for one ive never admitted it on this site, the hurt ive experienced from it is too much.
Well anyway this new year is brilliant for me, a complete fresh start
I started again from December 21st, that was my new year, i totalled everything up from before the 21st December and that was my 2009
2010 started for me on the same Dcemeber 21st
A new important fresh mental approach, i had my set plans and targets, play as much as possible, keep to a routine in life
I was going to wait until January 1st but i didnt want to waste any time and hopefully the games would be good over the christmas period
That day was chose btw because the week leading up to it was my last gambling/blackjack blow up when i literally burn money i worked relatively hard for
I was hurting and instead of spiralling into a jamsym type world I needed to get re focused, and reach all my dreams and targets for my life as soon as possible, no more set backs
This might not be around forever and im getting older, 22 now so this is so the best time to have a lot of money, not that 22 is old just saying
Anyway i digress a lot
Its been 10 days since i started myself a fresh and im doing well
Im clearing my to do list on time, im sticking to my eating plan, i still have my football 3 times a week, ive budgeted my sepnding and of course ive cut out all blackjack
In my best days in 2008 and 2007 i lived by a strict routine, its so important
Ive learnt from my mistakes
Im not saying i hope or hopefully this time, i have and now 2010 is going to be a year when i work really hard and keep focused, lets see where that takes me in terms of money earned
First Target is 230 000 hands by February 1st, im only on 26 000 atm but thats obviously because of the festive period slowing down games and my own commitments!
Ill update this once a week with my thoughts and graphs
